And it came to pass.

...

*cries*

I miss him.

So, so much.

And none of my friends even know his name.

*cries*

His name is Tait.

And I see him Sundays and Wednesdays.

And I still miss him.

*cries*

I guess I'll update...

Maybe if people read this they'll know I'm alive. :)

Every second

Every day

Every thought

Every way

I think of him

Constantly

I think of him

Emotionlessly

I wish he’d look

And notice me

I wish he’d realize

I wish he’d see

He’s kind to me,

I realize this

And with his smile

I cannot miss.

I know I love

I know he can’t see

I know I need him

More than he needs me

Even now

My life away

If they took it

I would pay

I would give it

All to him

Just to hear

His voice again

I really would

I realize it all now

And as I do

I just look down

I’ll just be hurt

Once again

Just like Kryss said

I always did

This is sad
I realize now

But still I see it

With a frown

He makes me feel

Like if I died

Someone would miss me

Even cry

He makes me feel

Wanted here

Like he needs me here

With tears

I would do it

All for him

Just to hear his

Voice again.

I'll write more soon.

Filling you in...

It's hard to just pretend like nothing ever happened on October the eighth. I tried to pretend like it was any old day, and because I did, I got most of the effects on October ninth... Anyone with eyes could tell I was not myself. Seriously. Or ears. I was trying not to cry everywhere we or, rather, I went. It was all I could do not to burst into tears.

October 8th 2001 ruined me forever.

That was the day I began liking Pez. I did for 5 and a half years. Lately it hasn't been a problem... I haven't liked him like that, but it's still hard to think about. Hard to think about my first love being a complete disaster in everyway. Hard to think that he never did like me back and he likes my best friend instead, and she likes him. It's all just really hard.

I can't really talk to people about it without crying, so I just don't, usually. It's easier to type, though.

Nobody even reads this anymore though, so I don't know why I even bother. I guess its because I can't update MOMJ at the moment and I'm filtering onto this now. *sighs* Who knows? Who cares?

No one.

.Zyk.

Quiz Results... Lots of 'em...

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You tend to give more than take in relationships. You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

You Are a Dog

You are ready to protect and defend anyone you love. You are incredibly loyal. While you are protective and territorial at times, you are also quite playful and carefree. You are compassionate, and you understand people well. You pick up on emotions. You are eager to help people, and you are a natural best friend. You enjoy being around others.

You Are Emerald Green

Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you. Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show. People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate. But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you.

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom People find you to be: Loyal, honest, and comforting Your best trait: You are comfortable with who you are, and you don't pretend to be someone you're not What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

What your mouth means about you

People see you as both genuine and spontaneous. You really love life, and it shows. You are easy to get to know. You tend to have a wide circle of friends, and many different interests. While many people know you, no one can exactly figure you out.

You Are Blue

Relationships and feelings are the most important things to you. You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict. If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well. You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart.

Your Hair Should Be Pink

Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun. You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow.

You Are Cherry Kiss Lip Gloss

You're a total girly girl who's every guy is sweet on. You take pleasure in the simple things in life, from cute t-shirts to stuffed animals. Any guy needs to match your romantic idealism to win your heart, which is why few have. No wonder Cherry your signature flavor. It's delicious, sugary, and fun - like you!

You Are an “A-OK”

Your life philosophy can be summed up as, “Whatever will be, will be.” Your greatest wish is to live each day a little better than the next. You are naturally calm and stable. Some people would call you a rock. You feel one with the world. You are a spiritual person, though no one who knows you would guess it.

You Mostly Have Your Emotions in Check

Sometimes your emotions get out of control, but you usually are a pretty stable person. You can find a lot to be happy about, as long as things are going your way. But if a few bad things happen to you, you tend to go in a bit of a downward spiral. Luckily, you usually come out of it okay and no worse for the wear.

You Are a Fierce Femme

You have a wild side, and you aren't afraid to bring it out when the time is right. But you also know when to hang back and keep your “crazy chick” persona in check. In fact, some of your friends may be surprised to find out how far you can take it... You may look mild mannered, but it's all an act!

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are quite expressive and thoughtful. You see the world in a way that others are blind to. You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds. You believe that people see you as a bit small and insignificant. People pay more attention to you than you think. Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times - and you'll textually enjoy it. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.