drowning_inyou's Xanga

And it came to pass.

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 01:05:50 GMT

♥ Click here.//

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Sat, 29 Nov 2008 00:26:56 GMT

*cries*

I miss him.

So, so much.

And none of my friends even know his name.

*cries*

His name is Tait.

And I see him Sundays and Wednesdays.

And I still miss him.

*cries*

I guess I'll update...

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 14:57:05 GMT

Maybe if people read this they'll know I'm alive. :)

Every second

Every day

Every thought

Every way

I think of him

Constantly

I think of him

Emotionlessly

I wish he’d look

And notice me

I wish he’d realize

I wish he’d see

He’s kind to me,

I realize this

And with his smile

I cannot miss.

I know I love

I know he can’t see

I know I need him

More than he needs me

Even now

My life away

If they took it

I would pay

I would give it

All to him

Just to hear

His voice again

I really would

I realize it all now

And as I do

I just look down

I’ll just be hurt

Once again

Just like Kryss said

I always did

This is sad
I realize now

But still I see it

With a frown

He makes me feel

Like if I died

Someone would miss me

Even cry

He makes me feel

Wanted here

Like he needs me here

With tears

I would do it

All for him

Just to hear his

Voice again.

I'll write more soon.

Filling you in...

Sat, 11 Oct 2008 15:09:38 GMT

It's hard to just pretend like nothing ever happened on October the eighth. I tried to pretend like it was any old day, and because I did, I got most of the effects on October ninth... Anyone with eyes could tell I was not myself. Seriously. Or ears. I was trying not to cry everywhere we or, rather, I went. It was all I could do not to burst into tears.

October 8th 2001 ruined me forever.

That was the day I began liking Pez. I did for 5 and a half years. Lately it hasn't been a problem... I haven't liked him like that, but it's still hard to think about. Hard to think about my first love being a complete disaster in everyway. Hard to think that he never did like me back and he likes my best friend instead, and she likes him. It's all just really hard.

I can't really talk to people about it without crying, so I just don't, usually. It's easier to type, though.

Nobody even reads this anymore though, so I don't know why I even bother. I guess its because I can't update MOMJ at the moment and I'm filtering onto this now. *sighs* Who knows? Who cares?

No one.

.Zyk.

Quiz Results... Lots of 'em...

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 16:29:59 GMT

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.

You tend to give more than take in relationships.

You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

Comment: Mostly true, I suppose. Yeah... mostly.

You Are a Dog

You are ready to protect and defend anyone you love. You are incredibly loyal.
While you are protective and territorial at times, you are also quite playful and carefree.

You are compassionate, and you understand people well. You pick up on emotions.
You are eager to help people, and you are a natural best friend. You enjoy being around others.

What Animal Are You?

You Are Emerald Green

Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you.
Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show.
People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate.
But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you.

What Color Green Are You?

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom

People find you to be: Loyal, honest, and comforting

Your best trait: You are comfortable with who you are, and you don't pretend to be someone you're not

What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

What your mouth means about you

People see you as both genuine and spontaneous.
You really love life, and it shows. You are easy to get to know.
You tend to have a wide circle of friends, and many different interests.
While many people know you, no one can exactly figure you out.

What Does Your Mouth Say About You?

You Are Blue

Relationships and feelings are the most important things to you.
You are empathetic and accepting - and good at avoiding conflict.
If someone close to you is in pain, it makes you hurt as well.
You try to heal the ones you love with your kind and open heart.

What Color Girl Are You?

Your Hair Should Be Pink

Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun.
You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

You Are Cherry Kiss Lip Gloss

You're a total girly girl who's every guy is sweet on.
You take pleasure in the simple things in life, from cute t-shirts to stuffed animals.

Any guy needs to match your romantic idealism to win your heart, which is why few have.
No wonder Cherry your signature flavor. It's delicious, sugary, and fun - like you!

What Flavor Lip Gloss Are You?

Comment: Ok.. wah? That's weird...

You Are an “A-OK”

Your life philosophy can be summed up as, “Whatever will be, will be.”
Your greatest wish is to live each day a little better than the next.

You are naturally calm and stable. Some people would call you a rock.
You feel one with the world. You are a spiritual person, though no one who knows you would guess it.

What Hand Gesture Are You?

You Mostly Have Your Emotions in Check

Sometimes your emotions get out of control, but you usually are a pretty stable person.
You can find a lot to be happy about, as long as things are going your way.
But if a few bad things happen to you, you tend to go in a bit of a downward spiral.
Luckily, you usually come out of it okay and no worse for the wear.

Can You Keep Your Emotions in Check?

Comment: No comment.

You Are a Fierce Femme

You have a wild side, and you aren't afraid to bring it out when the time is right.
But you also know when to hang back and keep your “crazy chick” persona in check.
In fact, some of your friends may be surprised to find out how far you can take it...
You may look mild mannered, but it's all an act!

Are You a Daring Woman?

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are quite expressive and thoughtful. You see the world in a way that others are blind to.

You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.

You believe that people see you as a bit small and insignificant. People pay more attention to you than you think.

Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times - and you'll textually enjoy it.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

I'm not okay, I promise

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:21:03 GMT

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are compassionate, caring, and soothing.
You like other people to depend on you...
In fact, you don't feel right unless you are helping someone out.

Underneath it all, you feel the burden of everyone's problems.
Without your guidance, you fear that many people's worlds would fall apart.
You like to feel in charge, even if it brings you a lot of stress.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

-and-

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are powerful, passionate, and dominant.
You have a vision of how things should be, and you do your best to make things happen.
People rely on you for your strength. You are a rock to many.

Underneath it all, you aren't so sure about your passions.
So many ideas spark your interest, it is hard for you to get behind a select few.
However, you see indecision as a sign of weakness. So you pursue your goals full force - no matter how foolish they turn out to be.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

-and-

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are aloof, mysterious, and distant.
People feel like they really don't know the true you...
Yet they're still drawn to you, almost by magnetic force.

Underneath it all, you don't even really feel like you know yourself.
It's easier to put on a front than really think about your life's purpose.
You tend to seem pretentious, but it's just a mechanism you use to push people away.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

Apparently all describe me... I liked 3 pictures the same, so...

If you think I'm a certain one more than the others, email or comment me. I'm interested.

Hmmmm... TRUANT OFFICER! RUn fOr yoUR LivEs!!! aHHHHHHHHHHHHH! boom bleh... dripdrip* Yur comin

Wed, 08 Oct 2008 14:39:11 GMT

That was my impression of a truant officer catching me. I mean... I'm not skipping! << >>

Sorry I didn't update... I just lost track of time. So basically, I have this realllllly long To Do list, and it's never ever going to be done. Seriously. It's really long. Like, for example, you'd think I'd be doing the homework that was supposed to be due today, but I didn't get it done, so I get extra time now, so I SHOULD be doing it... But I'm not. :)... >>

I need to update deviant some day before I die, too.

ANYWAYZ if anything interesting happens ever I'll write. But nothing has in the past few days.

Ciao..

.Zyk.

isn't it loverly?

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 15:16:26 GMT

The layout, I mean. Not the song.

So, I was counting down to me being 16, but then I started to not care... so if you do, which I doubt it, here's a counter:

Just in case. *shrugs* ANYWAY. So, all-region I basically did terrible. I didn't expect to make it in the first place, cuz I'm just not that good. AANd my choir director would kill me for saying that, but I believe it's true. I think I'm decent, sure and I have a pretty tone, okay. But I'm just not extraordinary. Jessica, of course, made 28th chair, just cuz she's amazing like that. She's a freshman, too. Caleb made 58th in his section, which isn't great, but it's not bad, either.

YUM this toffee is good! It's chocolate covered toffee! Yum!

ANYWAY, so I kinda like a guy, and anyone who knows me probably knows who it is. Even him. I only know that cuz Cameron's dumb. But what else is new, right? Anyone who says I bascally don't matter as a person deserves to get punched... which he almost did... Tyler was about to beat the crap out of him, but was held back at the last minute. I almost wish he did punch him just because it would be nice to see him be the one bleeding sometime and also because after he didn't he was just all "I knew he wouldn't."

RAWR.

So I was obsessed with gaia for a little while but the anime con destroyed that... so I'm not really obsessed with much of anything at the moment. I still like anime and draw it alot, but I mean there's not a burning passion or anything. Scratch that, I LOVE to sing. I'd sing all day if I could! Music is what I'm all about at the moment.

Doesn't that make ya think?

Why should I care if someone doesn't like it when I do? Why should I care what anyone thinks?

Humans are interesting, eh?

I generally don't care, but lately I've been a bit more paranoid about it.

Oh, yeah, Pez and Kryss are going out.

Yep.

My best friend and the guy I had a crush on for 5 years are going out.

I don't really like him that much, but it still makes ya think about loyalty between friends.

That's enough for now. I'll write tomorrow, hopefully... if I get home at a decent time, maybe.

.Zyk.

Well then.

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 14:28:59 GMT

I'm gonna put out fliers and stuff to say I'm baaaack!

Remember that last post that was nearly an eternity ago? Did you go? Well, you should. http://www.mustardonmyjacket.com !!

I'm going to post a new layout and stuff so I can keep up with this. Although, I can list some things that are pretty crazy about me still doing this.

THINGS I HATE ABOUT XANGA:

The glitch when it starts up where you're trying to type in the title and instead the cursor jumps down to the entry, nearly forcing you to mess up your entry, the thing where it says "still using this old version?" box, the "try it out boxes", the neverending ads the people who DON'T COMMENT EVER, the parents and stuff that find these things and always know when you're updating and check to make sure you're not commiting suicide or something, the groups that don't do ANYTHING except say you're a fan of something when you can do that just as easily with less hassle by just typing on the site, the friends who freak out if you sound depressed, the brother or sister that freaks out when you "sound" depressed when, since you're typing, you can't really tell if I'm sarcasting or just being sad, the lack of friends, now, the lame blog names, the layout sites that don't do anything except say that we need to work on our skills even though we're better than them at it...

I think you get the point.

ANYWAY, I'll write a real entry later. For now this is all.

Zyk.

xD

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 01:53:36 GMT

Wow. I haven't updated in forever-ness.

New website! http://www.mustardonmyjacket.com

Just for all of you people that didn't know that. xD

The party was great! And I'm 15 now! That's kinda weird. I need to get my permit soon, too. >> <<

Uh oh.

Did he actually enjoy those jokes? I was smiling and trying not to because I enjoyed them. He was smiling and trying not to, as well... did he enjoy them too? He was speechless about the magic fan... does he wish for it? Does he wish for my hand in his?

Well, he would have it if he just asked.

I don't understand him. He's too tricky and sending a TON of mixed signals. It's soooo not fair.

Whatever.

~Zyk

drowning_inyou's Xanga

And it came to pass.

...

I guess I'll update...

Filling you in...

Quiz Results... Lots of 'em...

I'm not okay, I promise

Hmmmm... TRUANT OFFICER! RUn fOr yoUR LivEs!!! aHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *boom* bleh... *drip*drip* Yur comin

isn't it loverly?

Well then.

xD

Hmmmm... TRUANT OFFICER! RUn fOr yoUR LivEs!!! aHHHHHHHHHHHHH! boom bleh... dripdrip* Yur comin